Gutentag, Glibertariat! It’s Friday. I hope you’re all enjoying it. Now the depressing state of the world…except the bit about the Commonwealth, it’s emotionally neutral…just like its new leader.

Multistate Outbreak of E. coli O157:H7 Infections Linked to Chopped Romaine Lettuce. I know this is oldish news, but the affected area keeps expanding. You officially have Glib permission to throw a tantrum is someone serves salad…for now.

‘World’s worst’ super-gonorrhoea man cured. *Books flight to Thai red-light district immediately* This is a gentle and slightly drippy reminder that you should wear a condom during your sex tourism and we should probably up our game in the microbial arms race, because staph and gonorrhea certainly have.

No Surprise: Charles to Succeed Queen as Commonwealth Head. Huh, I remember talking about this over drinks with folks from various Commonwealth countries a decade ago and they thought Charles would never lead the Commonwealth because of his intense blandness, so I’m surprised, but whatever.

China has a few animal welfare stories recently: Kangaroo in zoo dies after being pelted by bricks from tourists trying to see it hop and China black market demand for ‘cocaine of the sea’ pushes two marine species closer to extinction in Mexico. The population of vaquita–the cutest cetacean you never knew you needed more of in your life–is down to 12 because the Chinese want totoba swim bladders for beauty reasons. The supply has dwindled and demand is high enough that they can go for over twenty grand, and as such have become valuable purely for their rarity.

In memoriam:

Avicii