As I read through this morning’s news, I kept thinking, “This all has to be some elaborate prank. Right now, the editorial boards of all the major media outlets are all together at a bar laughing their asses off at us.” As I hear the ice storm raging outside, I’m visualizing the “science” editors busily composing stories on how this is a sign or global warming. Well, I’m inside, I’m warm, and I have grappa in my coffee, so… here’s some of the stories that caught my attention.

I shouldn’t be amazed at the lionization of the notoriously violent and corrupt Winnie Mandela by the Left, but somehow, I can’t help but be. This story was perfect.

Members of the governing party’s women’s league, wearing green and black, who attended Madikizela-Mandela’s memorial service this past week ululating in the stands of the stadium, added: “She didn’t die, she multiplied” to their tuneful chants.

This refrain has caught fire.

C’mon, are you going to tell me that the NPR folks aren’t in hysterics and high-fiving? In any case, if she is indeed multiplying, I strongly advise buying stock in Goodyear, Michelin, Hangkook, and Cooper.

 

Speaking of fire, here’s another one that got the editors in giggling fits. I could make the obvious lawyer jokes (“A good start!”) but good taste prevents me from doing so. Regarding a protest against fossil fuels that adds a load of CO2 to the atmosphere, I could say, “The irony, it burns!” but that would be needlessly cruel.

 

I have always assumed that after his shows, Art Bell would go off with his buddies who had just changed out of their space aliens costumes and have celebratory drinks. Well, Art has made the last call. You were always entertaining, and you inspired one of my favorite characters of all time, Happy Harry Cox (“They call me Happy because I am happy!”). Thanks for all the fun, Art!

 

The Pope can reliably generate null-content but nonetheless sanctimonious verbal mush.  And I also assume he giggles like a little girl once he’s off-camera. “They didn’t ask me how many divisions I have! HAHAHAHAHA!”

 

OK, Old Guy Music time yet again. I’m not a big fan of soul/funk, but I always had a soft spot for Tower of Power. And when they step out of their genre and do the blues, well… Here’s a terrific cover of an Albert King classic, with some delightfully tasty guitar work.