STEVE SMITH BEEN CATCHING UP ON READING

 

STEVE SMITH BACK. HIM BEEN READING AND CATCHING UP WITH CHORES. BY CATCHING UP WITH CHORES, MEAN RAPE. WAS NOT IN MOOD TO DO LINKS, BUT SAW “DEAR PRUDENCE” SAY SILLY THINGS. SO STEVE SMITH GET OUT OF DOLDRUMS AND COME GIVE ADVICE TO FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN PEOPLE. HERE IS ADVICE:

Q. No strings:I am a struggling college student up to my ears in loans and am estranged from my family. (I am gay and an atheist; they are deeply Catholic.) I have roomed with “Natalie” since freshman year. Natalie has many mental issues. She is school-brilliant, but socially not so much. I spent a lot of my first two years with her, pulling her out of the dorm and into socializing. She has a private therapist and is doing much better, but she still relies on me for a lot. She will not go out if I am not there, and has refused invitations to events if I am not invited. I was thinking of dropping out of school to work when Natalie’s parents approached me. They told me I was the best thing to happen to their daughter, and they were willing to fund my education if I stayed and “continued to be her friend.” They also don’t want Natalie to know.

I am very, very tempted to take the money. Natalie comes from serious, old-world money—like yearly vacations to the family home in the Alps kind of money. I also know it will kill Natalie to think her parents bought a friend for her. What should I do?

A. STEVE SMITH IN MOOD TO DO ANALYSIS OF SILLINESS. YOU LETTER PERFECT MATERIAL! STEVE SMITH CHUCKLE AT SLATE-WORTHY QUALIFIER (I GAY ATHEIST, FAMILY CATHOLIC). WHEN FINISH CHUCKLING, LOOK AT PROBLEM. YOU HELP ROOMIE WITH SOCIAL LIFE, GET PILE OF DOLLARS. WHAT IS PROBLEM? WHAT IF SAY NO? YOU BROKE, ROOMIE GO BACK BE HERMIT. IF ROOMIE FIND OUT, HIT ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK. IT WHAT STEVE SMITH DO.

YOU GET CONCUSSION AND FORGET!

 

Q. Friend hacked into my Facebook:My ex-friend is an alcoholic and I believe she has borderline personality disorder. She went to jail a year ago for arson and resisting arrest, and has since had police at her house twice. After her time in jail, I picked her up and let her stay with me. I tried to be a supportive friend for eleven months, and she just continued to be a manipulative bully. I stopped speaking to her, so she hacked into my Facebook and read all my personal messages.

I will never speak to her again, but I am so angry I am having trouble getting over it. Any suggestions?

A. STEVE SMITH NOT NORMALLY SUSPICIOUS TYPE. BUT HIM WONDER ABOUT THIS. “HACKED INTO MY _________” MOST COMMON THING STEVE SMITH HEAR FOR EXCUSE FROM CELEBRITIES AND POLITICIANS. CARLOS DANGER RING BELL? BUT STEVE SMITH GO AHEAD AND TREAT AS REAL.

FIRST THING YOU DO, IS HIT EX-FRIEND ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK. SEND BILL FOR 11 MONTH RENT TO HOSPITAL ROOM EX-FRIEND GO TO. THEN DELETE FACEBOOK – IT NO GOOD ANYWAY.

HACK THIS, INGRATE!

THIS HELP VENT ANGER AND STOP MORE PROBLEMS.  GIVE STEVE SMITH ADDRESS OF EX-FRIEND. HIM GO ADMONISH EX-FRIEND. BY ADMONISH, MEAN RAPE. THEN STEVE SMITH GIVE LECTURE ON GRATITUDE. BY LECTURE ON GRATITUDE, MEAN YELL AT.

 

STEVE SMITH HOPE ADVICE HELP.