Sorry for my absence over the past week- I was traveling to one of the garden spots my work takes me, in this case the prairies of Kansas. Not like anything important happened anyway.

Let’s see what’s in the news today… oh yes, a “government shutdown” wherein a tiny portion of Leviathan gets what will amount to a free vacation, accompanied by the usual wailing and gnashing of teeth while the rest of the world sees no actual difference. As opposed to 2013’s “shutdown” where Team Red and Team Blue both demonstrated a hilariously transparent hypocrisy, this time around, Team Blue and Team Red are demonstrating a hilariously transparent hypocrisy. See, it’s totally different. Totally. Just like Lokai and Bele. I’d be happy about it except for already knowing the ending- the government will end up mulcting even more money from us tax cattle.

The guy who assaulted Rand Paul will apparently plead guilty. OK, dull story, but what’s really fun is the delightfully unhinged comments, centering around the latest leftist conspiracy theory: the assault was because of a breakup in a gay love triangle between the mugger, Paul, and Mrs. Paul (insert fish stick joke here).

I’m no fan of the Patriots, but I have a grudging admiration for Bill Belichik. Not just for the wonderful contempt he has for the press, but his brilliant manipulation of them. The latest mind game is yet another gem.

Sometimes I think, “I just love living in a world like this.”

“Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!” “That trick never works.” “This time, for sure!”

There are two things today that make me wonder, “Why the fuck is this even news???” One is this week’s outrage that some college chick that no-one has ever heard of at a fourth rank school made a stupid video of herself saying stupid things that got her expelled. The other is this. BE SCARED!!!!!

OK, you know what’s coming now. Old Guy music. But with a twist: the song is delightful, Nat King Cole’s band is great, but the video… The Groove Tube was just a wonderful, wonderful movie, which gave rise to a million imitators, including the original Saturday Night Live. Ken Shapiro, an absolutely unappreciated genius, died about two months ago. I hope that one day, he’ll achieve the fame he never got in life.