SP and I greatly love watching classic movies, which is why we have trouble taking crap like Jaws or Rocky seriously. Though we did imagine a mashup where the grunting midget gets eaten by the big rubber fish. I remember as a kid that when I’d go to movie theaters in black neighborhoods, it was perfectly OK, if not expected, that the audience would vocally interact with the characters on the screen to an extent that I didn’t see in (say) our Jewish neighborhood. I have fond memories of the horror triple features on Saturday afternoons at the Biddle Theater. “LOOK OUT, HONEY, HE HIDING BEHIND THE DOOR!”

It is fun, I admit, to have an outspokenly libertarian wife who, with a few drinks in her, will do as much yelling at the screen as did my fellow Baltimoreans, though with a slightly different viewpoint. Last night, we watched the old and wonderful epic Robin Hood, packed to the gills with my favorite actors- though unfortunately lacking Spring Byington. SP did not disappoint. “FUCK OFF, SLAVER!” “WHY DO YOU EVEN FUCKING NEED A KING?” “SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE AND KILL THE GUY ALREADY!” “WHY ARE YOU GUYS ALL FEASTING WHEN THERE’S STARVING PEOPLE IN THE COPSE NEXT TO YOU? IS THAT YOUR REVOLUTIONARY PROGRESSIVISM???”

She is indeed a demure delight.

Anyway, enough with the shit that amused me, let’s see what today’s news brings us.

 

When you’re dealing with crazy, it helps to act even crazier. This seems to have actually had an effect.

 

Apparently, rubbernecking at a corpse is a popular past-time.

 

Surprise, surprise, Hamas still likes doin’ the thing it does so very well. This time, the “He’s just a yoot, he din do nuffin!” gambit and their own unique take on 4/20. But in exchange for having a bunch of their dumber people killed, they did have a major accomplishment- driving away Natalie Portman. Totally worth it, guys, keep up the good work!

 

Illinois may consider importing its next governor, just to keep alive our fine traditions. And on the same theme, Washington, DC may have found its next city councilman. Read the comments, they are a delight.

 

How’s that gun control working out for you, California?

 

If Twin Cities drivers are as frighteningly bad as the ones here in Chicagoland, I have total sympathy here.

 

And inevitably, Old Guy Music. And holy shit, what a lineup! If you want to know why Charlie Parker is a god, here’s the evidence.