Its too hot for some people at the US Open, Tom Herman likes strip clubs, Urban Meyer wasn’t lying at the press conference and a couple ESPN sportscasters question Tiger Woods’ blackness because he doesn’t hate Donald Trump. And your baseball winners were: Boston, Baltimore, New York (AL), Washington, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Chicago (NL), Oakland, Kansas City, St Louis, Colorado, Sad Diego and San Francisco. That’s the sports world in a nutshell.

Locke

I ran through that because I wanted to get to John Locke’s birthday. He is remembered on this date with: inventor Charles Kettering, beautiful actress Ingrid Bergman, jazzman Charlie “Bird” Parker, movie man Richard Attenborough, BBC chairman Marmaduke Hussey (he’s meaningless to me, but that name…damn!), POW pilot John McCain, actor Elliot Gould, shooting victim James Brady, rockers Sterling Morrison, Richard Halligan and Chris Copping, pederast Michael Jackson, actress Rebecca DeMornay, rocker Greg Steele, and Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky.

Its also the day Charles I signed a peace treaty with the Scots, Shay’s Rebellion took place, there motorcycle was patented in Germany, the Goodyear Tire Company was founded, the Graf Zeppelin completed an around-the-world flight, the USSR performed its first nuclear test, Speedy Gonzales made his screen debut, so did “Mary Poppins”, the Beatles did their last public concert, Don Baylor is hit by a pitch for a record 190th time, Saddam says the US can’t defeat Iraq, and Lance Armstrong was stripped of 7 Tour de France titles.

I hope you got that, because its time for…the links!

The crisis gets politicized by the New York Times

The New York Times notes how the conservatives in the Catholic Church are exploiting the child sexual abuse scandal for their own purposes.  Exploiting. Child sex abuse. To hurt Francis. That’s the NY Times’s take on it. That conservatives are exploiting a legitimate sex abuse scandal in order to hurt the liberal/socialist Pope. I’m not sure I could find something more retarded if I tried.

But wait, I’m gonna try! And this comes close. That dick in California who notoriously pulled a dine-and-dash on a few dates is potentially facing 13 years in prison. For running out on a few dates to the tune of $950 total.  You can literally shit in the street or shoot smack into your arm on a sidewalk. You can form an antics masked mob and toss trash cans through the windows of public buildings in order to shut down speech and you won’t even get so much as a “stop, don’t do that” from the cops. But leg it on a few dates and you can face 13 years in the slammer on the taxpayer’s dime.  What. The. Ever-loving. Fuck?

Trump demands that the FBI look into the Chinese hacking of Hillary Clinton’s private server (where she kept 31,000 work emails and didn’t disclose it until she was forced to and then later deleted emails after the server had been subpoena). Between that, Feinstein employing a spy for a driver for over a decade and the Awan brothers, they might not have any credibility left to salvage even if they do start looking into the hacking or Clinton’s gross negligence extreme carelessness.

The Florida Democratic primary for the governor’s race was a shocker, but the rest of the election night went according to plan. Let’s see how a “free shit!” democrat plays in a state based on tourist dollars coming in. And let’s hope we’ve finally seen the last of that piece of shit Joe Arpaio.

Dirty Myrtle wasn’t meant to have language police.

Aw, now at the fuck is this fucking shit?

A person would violate Ordinance 14-61 (b) 1 if he/she uses a language likely to provoke a violent reaction from another person. The ordinance lists several examples of the types of words which are unlawful. The penalty for conviction could include a fine and/or jail time. We encourage everyone to avoid violating this ordinance by speaking to others with the same respect and kindness he or she deserves.

But what if they deserve to be called an asshole?

That’s some pretty good police work there, Lou. In their defense, they are pretty busy helping to clear the city streets of excrement so the bums will have a place to lie down and shoot smack.

Yeah, don’t give it to the people who got ripped off. Take the money and piss it away on stupid boondoggles. Because who deserves the settlement money more: those who bought cars under false pretenses or the fucking government?

Child of Cuban refugees stands firm when questioned about an “insensitive” social media post featuring Hitler. Good for him.  Also, he’s correct.

Just in case you were planning on moving to a Bordertown, these are the ones the FBI says are the safest and most dangerous. Surprising nobody, El Paso tops the list for Texas.

Here you go. Make sense of it if you can.

Now go out there and have a great day.