By Tonio
As we approach the festival grounds my friend whips out a disabled parking placard and we get waved through to the special, reserved disabled parking area near the entrance gate. I am appropriately embarrassed because none of the guys in the car are in any way disabled. Our driver has the placard because he occasionally transports his legitimately disabled elderly mother. But his mother is a hundred miles away, and I wonder how many other vehicles in the disabled parking area are parked fraudulently. According to the Virginia DMV: “The person to whom the placard or plates was issued must be traveling in the vehicle in order to use these spaces.”
You don’t need a thesis to realize that “the problem of illegal parking in spaces reserved for the physically disabled will continue[…] as long as the benefits associated with parking[…] outweigh the perceived costs (i.e., legal or social consequences).” Disabled parking fraud is a big deal, but nobody knows how big. Virginia crime statistics, compiled by the State Police, don’t include statistics for placard-related crimes, but they do include other petty offenses as well as victimless crimes. None of the sources I found for this article listed convictions per state or other hard numbers. Both my own experience and the anecdotal evidence reported by others suggests that the problem is rampant. The number or laws and regulations addressing disabled parking fraud is also indirect evidence that there is a problem.
One in eight California drivers had disabled placards in 2016, up from one in ten in 2014. Apparently California residents are quite prone to “losing” their placards since a 2018 law “prohibits DMV from issuing more than four substitute permanent placards during a two-year period.” Surprisingly, California’s standards for issuing disabled placards are not that much looser than Virginia’s, but the Golden State adds Optometrists and Certified Nurse Midwives to the list of healthcare providers who can certify people as disabled for placard purposes.
Recently, my neighbor posted on FB asking that other neighbors be on the lookout for a disabled parking placard which had been stolen from her car. She was seemingly unaware that the placard was unlikely to be recovered because it is effectively a bearer instrument which can be used by anyone to park for free in metered spaces (in some localities) and to park in the convenient spaces reserved for the disabled (everywhere). My neighbor will have to report her placard as stolen in order to obtain a replacement but whoever ends up with her stolen placard is unlikely to be caught. I have never seen law enforcement or anyone else scan or record a placard number. Fraudsters prefer placards to disabled license plates for the simple reason of portability.
Under Virginia law all varieties of placard fraud, including forging and selling placards, are Class 2 misdemeanors punishable by “confinement in jail for not more than six months and a fine of not more than $1,000, either or both.” Police, and in certain jurisdictions private security guards, are authorized to seize placards suspected of being used illegally and hold them until the suspect has been tried. Conviction for placard fraud can result in future ineligibility for disabled parking placards.
Virginia disabled parking placards are issued by the DMV and require the signature of a physician, nurse practitioner, physician assistant, podiatrist or chiropractor.” The placards contain machine-printed serial number, barcode and expiration date. There is reciprocity for disabled parking placards among all US states, further expanding the opportunities for fraud. And there are also “Institutional placards… issued at no fee to authorized representatives of non-profit institutions or organizations that regularly transport disabled persons.” Which is totally not a loophole you could drive a commercial wheelchair van through.
While it might be hard to forge an exact replica of a Virginia placard, it would probably be a simple matter to forge one that would be good enough for daily use using a color photocopier, cardstock, and perhaps a laminator.
Several years back I saw a yoga panted, Volvo driving soccer mom whip into a disabled parking space at the supermarket, hang a disabled placard from her rearview, and stride perkily towards the entrance. Upon receiving the hairy eyeball from your author, she said: “It’s my mother, I’m grocery shopping for her.” Uh-huh. The universal belief, or at least the well-rehearsed story, is that if the shopping trip in any way benefits a disabled person then the use of the placard is legitimate. This belief shows up in many of the other sources I’ve linked to in this article and contradicts (at least) Virginia law.
Fraudsters of all sorts rely on the goodwill of the public. Nobody wants to falsely accuse a disabled person of fraud. There are a number of plausible excuses for not having a placard – loss, theft, placard left in another vehicle. Fraudsters always have an excuse ready. You also run the risk of misidentifying fraud in cases of invisible disabilities, such as asthma where the symptoms manifest intermittently. And there’s the ever-popular IDGAF technique where people just park in the disabled spaces and dare anyone to challenge them, like the woman in the Kroger parking lot last weekend.
I’ve wrestled with whether disabled parking fraud is an actual crime with which liberty lovers should concern themselves, or a victimless crime we should ignore. The disability movement views this as a crime against the disabled, but from a libertarian perspective they are neither more or less entitled to dibs or discounts on public parking spaces than anyone else. Statists claim that the state is the victim since fraudsters deprive the state of revenue from metered parking spaces. The state-as-victim argument does not sit well with libertarians, and the best libertarian position is to say that the state should not be involved in this in the first place a position sure to anger everyone else, but which avoids lending support to either of two equally bad positions. The actual victims here are the private property owners who on the one hand are forced by ADA to provide disabled parking spaces, and on the other hand are open to ADA complaints and bad publicity when fraudsters grab all the disabled parking spaces and the legitimately disabled complain.
Like many other issues, the liberty position on disabled parking makes us easy targets for sound bite criticism – “you libertarians hate disabled people, you oppose disabled parking spaces.” I know of no libertarian who objects to businesses voluntarily providing convenient parking for the disabled, but this is not an area in which the government should be involved. Particularly not the federal government. There exists a very lucrative ADA trolling industry where people go looking for ADA violations and sue businesses which do not comply with the myriad regulations the ADA has spawned. Government, always on the lookout for ways to expand its power and control, has been handed an Orwellian tool to solve a problem of its own making.
Now the real dilemma – what does a libertarian do when confronted with blatant parking fraud? Snitching to the government is distasteful to libertarians. The Iron Laws tell us that the more you prop up busybodies and snitches the more likely you are to be next in their cross-hairs for things like code violations or victimless non-crimes. Complaining to the property owner is unlikely to result in any action since they risk negative publicity in the case of a legitimately disabled person who forgot to put their placard on display, etc. Like so many other problems, perhaps the best answer is to mind your own business if it doesn’t directly affect you.
There is, predictably, a cottage industry in snitching on suspected fraudsters, which is run by a company selling disabled parking signage. From this we learn that actual enforcement is often lax, given the number of repeat offenders. Virginia also allows municipalities to deputize volunteers to enforce disabled parking laws (but no other laws), but whether this has ever been implemented is unknown. California DMV has a link where you can report suspected fraud. Even the disability community grudgingly acknowledges that maybe the free parking for disabled placards might be part of the problem. Incentives, how do they work?
I have one for my Wife, I use it at the DMV to park, there I said it
I also Park out away from the stores, I don’t seek out the ‘Best” spot, just Fucking Walk
Yep. I figure the amount of time taken to walk from a “distant” spot is less than circling the lot for a premium spot.
Also, fuck the people who stop right outside the front doors of the grocery store to drop someone off then sit there for 30 minutes.
I always park far away. I like to walk and don’t want your shitbox near my slightly less shitty car.
Admit it… the white truck belongs to you.
The red one is worse, he’s taking 4 spots. It looks like the white one is only in two.
Both of those are “tow and crush without recompense” violations in my book. I don’t care if you’re in a cripple space, but park over the line and I’m pissed. (I don’t care if the lot is that empty)
#metoo
Back when I drove a piece of crap, I would have parallel parked right next to that white truck. Close enough on the passenger side that he had no way in hell of getting into his driver side door.
You should also memorize the license plate just in case you come back and find all 4 tires slashed and your car keyed while the trucks is now gone?
I’ve actually done that. Way, way back in the 80’s a few of us were meeting up at the mall sometime during the Christmas rush. It was really crowded and filling up quickly. We had to park way in the back at that lot that is on the other side of the access road where nobody ever parks.
That’s when we saw it…. the guy with the new Corvette had parked across 6 spaces in the main lot. He had pulled right across the middle of the double row of spots and parked at a nice “show off the car” angle. After a brief discussion, someone came up with the idea that we should all go and park around him. With unanimous consent immediately granted, we moved our cars to surround him.
Hours later when we came out, he was there waiting. He was pretty hot, but there were 6 of us and we were a good 20+ years younger.
Maybe he learned a lesson that day. I don’t think the rest of us did, being too young for lesson-learning. But we did have a good laugh every time we brought it up.
Indeed, my parking choice is dictated by the desire to minimize idle time. Besides, the additional activity won’t hurt me.
I do the same thing….
in addition to the saved time, I find that it is an advantage to always park in the same distant part of the lot. It can save hunting for your car at places you frequently visit, like the office, super market, church, etc.
That is one of the things that I hated about travelling a lot for work. Parking in different spots at the same business over and over again can muddle your memory of where you left your car. I flew out of Atlanta and the North and South lots are pretty much identical behemoths. One rainy November night I ended up in the wrong lot after hopping off of a red-eye flight. “Damn, I was sure I parked right here by the fence….” Worse than the 15 minutes of walking back and forth pushing the key-fob button before I figured out what happened was the 2 mile walk back through the terminal and out to the other fence. In the 34 degree rain. At 2 am.
I like to think that there is a guy at Google who had the same thing happen to him, inspiring the Google Parking function.
This. Less likely for someone to scratch my car with their door or a cart.
Same here. I don’t take the best care of my car, but I really don’t want it scratched or dinged if I can avoid it.
I don’t give a shit about my current vehicle’s finish, but I too park well out from the door and walk. It’s a little bit of quick and easy excercise.
Yusef, curious; why do you take the long walk at stores but steal parking spots from people who need them at the DMV?
I made the mistake of entering the parking lot in the first place, there is never a spot, so pissed off Bob said, hey, look at those, and I cheated
I don’t seek out the ‘Best” spot
I seek out the spot least likely to get my car keyed by some asshole, or his children. It typically involves walking.
You missed a separate kind of abuse handicap spots are prone to, the taking of ramp van enabled spots by people who don’t need that functionality. Most places have many handicap spots, a few are designed for use with ramped vans, the others are just closer to the building. When you need a spot with enough room to put the ramp down and maneuver a wheelchair out, but all the van spaces are taken up by people who simply have a limp even though there are many other open handicap spots they could use it’s sometimes enough to make one want to punch a cripple.
That being said, it shouldn’t be a law.
Helping wife out of the car into a wheelchair is hard enough, being stuck next to car makes it tougher, this is true. People parking in the Fire lane to use the ATM is one I call out whenever I see it “better hope the Bank doesn’t catch on fire Asshole”
If the bank catches on fire, don’t you want to be as close to your car as possible so you can get away?
I ask the fire departments all sorts of questions during fire drills. They all hate me. Once they gave me shit for taking a bottle of water – it could spill and someone could fall. I told them, if it was an actual fire, the sprinklers would go off and people would be falling like crazy.
Thanks. Yes, there was a lot more I could have covered, but I was trying not to go full Eddie on the length.
I have a friend in a wheelchair that has a minivan with a full side ramp. If we can’t get a spot that is clear with ramp access, we park out in never-never land so that nobody will park next to us and block the ramp. I have thought that we should have a couple of construction cones to mark the next spot.
When in southern FL the ratio of handicap tags has to be 90%… I have yet to get a spot in Marco Island during the season when I’m transporting my friend down there. So, she has to walk, or I drop her off at the curb and then park the car where I can.
The coming invasion of self-driving cars should ameliorate this problem. Not only will your car be able to drop you off and pick you up, but removing the need to sit in the driver configuration would allow rear-access handicapped ramps on small vehicles.
Are we at the “five years away” stage yet? Or are we still at the “ten years from now” stage? Hard to tell… You can be at “in five years” for a decade or two…
Never illegally park in handicap spaces lest the forces of irony give you a reason to.
^This. I’m not a superstitious person per se, but my family talks about the family “luck”. An example is that I’d get a parking ticket while running into a store to get a scratch-off, then win the cost of the ticket, on the nose. If I parked in a handicap spot I’d get hit by a car as I walked back to mine, for sure.
I also hate people who are actually disabled, but ever so slightly, and use the placard but have no problem getting in and out of their raised pick-up that’s 5 feet off the ground.
And He’s a Contractor
And he parks like an asshole
And all his shit’s retarded.
Damn.
Good article. It’s an interesting subject to ponder, and one without an ideal solution. Social stigma would really be the only way to enforce something like this, but since the placards are given out so liberally it becomes impossible for fear of misapplying opprobrium – as you note in the article, people with invisible disabilities are legitimately given them, so how is the layman supposed to discern who does and does not deserve the space? It would be easier if only people in wheel chairs or cripples with canes/crutches were given them, then everyone would know who does or does not belong in the space.
Thanks.
I don’t think this is a problem. There are too many handicap spaces that sit empty due to gov’t regulations on the number of spaces. Further, the only legitimate need is for the van accessible spaces for those actually in wheel chairs. And those shouldn’t be gov’t mandated either. As for the gov’t losing money on pay parking? Fuck ’em. Most of the need for that comes from over-regulation making parking too expensive.
My parents have one, and I am dubious about their need for it. But they got it and when I visit we use it without compunction, save that we never park in the van spaces.
Something about jib cutting.
I support disabled placard fraud and hope it expands rapidly.
Good article Tonio, Maybe you’re not Tulpa after all,
Cheers!
We are all Tulpa.
^^^ This is a classic example of how tulpa uses some of his sock-puppets to manufacture the appearance of a consensus that one of his main sock-puppets is not a tulpa sock-puppet.
Given your experiences in Slab City, how do they handle disabled parking spots?
It’s all Handicapped parking at the Slabs, IYKWIM
What would you call the antithesis of the “Tragedy of the Commons”?
I’m working on it, the place get’s weirder and weirder
Thanks.
Speaking of handicapped, a mainstream SJW writer in Canada used the deaths of those hockey players in Saskatchewan to push identity politics horseshit.
http://dailycaller.com/2018/04/11/journalist-cites-maleness-and-whiteness-in-grieving-for-junior-hockey-league-deaths/
“I’m trying to not get cynical about what is a totally devastating tragedy but the maleness, the youthfulness and the whiteness of the victims are, of course, playing a significant role.”
— Nora Loreto (@NoLore) April 9, 2018
Christ, what an asshole.
*EDIT FERRY HELPED*
*used the deaths.
Edit fairy, can you plz halp?
*deaths in Saskatchewan. Didn’t mean to repeat myself like that …. goddamn typing too fast
She must be an absolute joy to be around, the cunt.
Fuck off, Nora.
No. If anything, part of what’s making it significant is that hockey is huge in Canada. If it were an all girls-or-otherkin-of-color hockey team, I’m confident the outpouring of support would be no less.
Or we could just acknowledge the dignity of all human life and recognize the tragedy of any loss such as this.
But no, identity politics uber alles!
She seems to have taken the logic of affirmative action and applied it to the deaths of children, which is fucking macabre. White employment should be suppressed to help give minorities a leg up, and white children shouldn’t be mourned because hey sometimes minority children die, too.
This is a person who has a sickness in her soul. That alone is punishment enough.
Yeah, that’s just giving away the game there.
Next time, take stupid down to maybe 8 so we’d think you actually believe the shit you write,
You = journalist person thing. Fuck Daily Caller and their “You whitelist or no gruel!” No gruel then, until websites stop using ad networks that turn my computer into a whimpering, suffering pile of neurosis.
Climbing on top of a pile of dead children’s bodies is the new soapbox of our times…fucking disgusting. I need a drink.
Well, everyone knows that young, able-bodied, cis-white males are subhuman. I mean they’re not really people, so it’s kind of like mourning a bunch of spiders or lab rats getting killed. Sure, those few who have a foolish and illogical emotional attachment to them will be upset, but there’s no point in anyone else giving a shit.
/looks hopelessly for an all-black Canadian hockey team
Here.
… They found enough black people in Nova Scotia to form a team???
There is something to be said for the media and Pretty Missing White Girl Syndrome, but Jesus, Nora! At least wait until the bodies are cold or something.
I just wish that while these identity politics cunts were busy digging their own graves, that they wouldn’t impugn innocent people, much less recently killed children, in the process.
Indeed, Tundra – Fuck You, Nora. What a cunt.
She’s getting ripped to shreds on her twatter. She seems like the kind of person who enjoys it though.
It’s okay if it’s a bunch of cis-white people mad at you. That’s how you know you’re speaking truth to power.
^Absolutely this.
Of course, we’re certainly fine speaking truth to cunt, so it balances out.
That’s the white people of hot takes.
It only plays a significant role to vile, immoral people.
Add the standard (for me) disclaimer that every time a newsreader says something to the effect of “Ten people were killed in an accident, three of them were children,” I want to reach through the screen and throttle them, asking why they don’t care about the seven adults.
Well, they kinda do care about the adults, It’s pretty easy to infer that there were seven adult victims given the information that there were three children. Of course maybe 70% of the time the newsreader should announce that ten people were killed, seven of them adults.
Speaking of the handicapped
This is strictly, sketchily anecdotal, so don’t strap me to the wall and drill for data, but listening to fellow liberal neurotic Democrats over the last year, I detect a sense of abandonment. Of Obandonment, to be more precise. Obama, Obama, where art thou? The Bat Signal scours the city night in vain for thee. Think of it, treasure the memory: A president who didn’t brag about himself. Who made it about “we,” not “me.” Who could lankily stride around the Oval Office without getting winded. Occupying the White House for eight years, Barack and Michelle Obama conducted themselves beautifully and irreproachably, elevating the national tone, embracing the once excluded, and leaving 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue radiating an afterglow rare for presidents and first mates, second terms usually being brutal and humbling. Their afterglow persists, giving their absence a keener pang, but the halo effect they left on governance, integrity, and diversity was turned into a bent hubcap on Week One of the Trump presidency; it’s been Satyricon ever since under a chief executive whom political consultant, analyst, and Never Trumper Rick Wilson has crowned our “Kentucky Fried Nero.” The contrast between the recent Then and the nonstop Now is painful, poignant, and demoralizing . . . one stabbing reminder after another of what we have lost.
They want cake. Cake will soothe them. Cake will bring sweet oblivion.
This is what it looks like when someone utterly disassociates themselves from reality.
I have a temporary placard. So far, no one has given me shit about it. Apparently, the full leg brace and cane is obvious enough to see.
You buy those two at the same black market joint you bought the placard from?
Package deal.
I’ve had a disabled placard or plate since I started driving. I prefer a plate, but I also have a placard for when someone else drives. My family knows not to use a handicap spot if I’m not in the car.
I have had to deal with this type of fraud all of my 46 years on this earth. I remember back in the 70’s and 80’s, before plates and placards, my parents had several verbal altercations with assholes who parked in the last handicap spot but were clearly not disabled. Now, even though there is fraud, I still think it’s a lot better than it used to be. It’s a lot like handicap policies at amusement parks. They can just do the best they can and accept that there will be a certain number of assholes who take advantage of the system.
I walk with a cane quite a bit, even at work, but I don’t cheat, I can walk. The other one I can’t stand is the obese people using the Walmart Rascal carts while I push my Wife in a Wheelchair, Fat ass Fucks
So, you use the cane like a pimp cane, to beat the orphans when they approach, begging for alms?
I don’t have a disabled wife, but I agree that being Jabba the Hutt is not a disability. Burn some calories on your way to buying more.
Being fat is not a disability.
Fat people frequently have heart and/or lung problems which are a disability. Whether being fat caused the health problems or having health problems caused them to be fat is not an issue. The only issue should be whether or not a medical professional determined they need a handicap placard. Of course, it is so easy to game the system that we have this problem of fraudulent use of spaces.
I am a fat dude (morbidly obese according to the charts), but until I blew out my knee I also parked way away from doors for all the reasons people have listed here.
Amazon Prime has solved the majority of this problem.
I see this all the time – apparently being fat is a disability. I don’t really give a fuck either way, as I park away from the idiots who want to ding my vehicles.
Nice piece, Tonio. And a great Everclear song!
Speaking of disabilities… is your friend coming to Chicago to play this weekend?
Not sure. I’ll ping him.
There are 72 teams participating so I’d think yes!
That sounds like a blast! Those big tourneys are so cool!
This is the national tournament sponsored by USA Hockey. Last year it was in San Jose and my team paid for us all to fly there. This year it’s in Chicago. It’s so big they have to use three separate facilities, and they had to break it into two weekends. This weekend is all sled. Looks like Minnesota Wild is sending several teams.
Yep! He’s headed out tomorrow morning.
Awesome. Tell him good luck. We don’t play Minnesota this time. I like that we get to play different teams in this tournament.
Tje libertarian angle to me is the state has sone flexibilty in deciding public property usage and as such handicapped parking. It may be seen theoretically as discrimination but as long as it is not imposed on private property i have little issue with it.
In romania you show you are important by parking on not one but two disabled spots
Nobody tried to span 6 spots then?
Your Top Men aren’t even trying!
Obama plays a long game, doing his patient best to bend the arc of history an extra bend toward justice. Hence, the Obama Presidential Center, to be built on the South Side of Chicago, will be more than a museum—according to its Web site, it will function as “a living, working campus—an ongoing project where we will shape, together, what it means to be a good citizen in the 21st century.” It’d be nice to return to the 21st century and make it our home again. There’ll be a lot of tidying up to do after Donald Trump and his fellow debauchers are finally evicted.
WHEEEEEEEEE!
It’s gonna be hard to find any sort of meaningful middle ground with people who are completely divorced from reality.
“bend the arc of history”
Lord I fucking hate that Marxist expression.
That is funny. Each passing year it doesn’t happen will be proof of his shallowness.
You can go to our local Walmart any given day and there will be like 90 of the 100 handicapped parking spots (which take up half the lot) empty. And the 10 that are taken, I doubt that 2 of the 10 drivers are handicapped.
My local grocery store has handicapped spots, expecting mother spots, “hero” spots, and places reserved for people picking up their orders submitted online.
Meh, I’m like Tundra: park away from people who are going to ding the car.
I’ve never parked in a handicapped spot and I agree with the two of you. I like parking away from other people, period, don’t mind walking a little further.
At work, I park next to the fire hydrant (it’s got posts around it; the fire trucks would use the other side; and it’s a legal parking space). It’s dark when we get in to work nine months of the year, and it’s easier to see if you’re parking in the right spot since they don’t reline the lot at all. And there are only people parking on one side of you.
Elsewhere, I try to take a pull-through space, usually away from everybody else.
Duckman: So what? No one notices, except the people who are supposed to park there, and hell, I can outrun them any day.
That was a great show.
I’ve wrestled with whether disabled parking fraud is an actual crime with which liberty lovers should concern themselves, or a victimless crime we should ignore.
I guess it doesn’t cross the line into justifiable “criminalizing being an asshole” territory for me.
My parents are in their 80s, and my mom absolutely needs/deserves special consideration and a spot as close to the door as she can get. It would never occur to me to use the placard and take a spot when I am visiting them and driving around in their car.
SP could actually get one. But doesn’t. Those of you who know her IRL will not be surprised by that.
I’ve never met her in meat space, but I also am not surprised.
What’s the first rule of SP?!
No pineapple on pizza!
No, that is the Third Rule of SP.
But you get points for making me laugh!
Nobody fucks with the Jesus?
Kneel before Zod?
Don’t serve me beer!
Don’t talk about SP?
You know her too well.
All online handles must consist of 2 capitalized letters?
oops
We may all be Tulpa, but there are not enough possibilities in 26^2 combinations.
BS
no MikeS
“I’m trying to not get cynical about what is a totally devastating tragedy but the maleness, the youthfulness and the whiteness of the victims are, of course, playing a significant role.”
Try harder, you stupid cunt.
My mom injured her hip a while back. temporarily . But she convinced her doc to give her a handicap permit for her car. She now uses it all the time. And loves it. Every time i see her i hold my head in my hands and moan about it. She’s like, “Shut up, you; i’m old, i deserve special privileges”
what can you do.
Yeah, it’s not like you can divorce your parents.
Unless you’re in Kentucky or West Virginia, I guess.
– this is how bad it is: there will be open spots all over the place, but she’ll specifically go looking for handicapped spots that are *way closer* to the destination. Because ‘why not’?
No problem with that. Being your mother can’t be easy 😉
The Inuit agree.
True story: when i took the SAT, i filled in the “Ethnicity” bubble for “Native American/Inuit”, because it was there, and because i wanted to blow off some steam before test.
when the unsolicited offers from universities started rolling in, my dad realized something was wrong, and made me call up the college board, beg forgiveness, and get them to change it
That’s hilarious!
I have almost the opposite true story, on my SAT and college applications, I only put “White” because I thought when I was a “famous” whatever I would end up doing, I didn’t want people to say I got in from Affirmative Action. Though, my name might have caused a few scratched heads over in admissions.
my spur-of-the-moment decision was based in sort of a similar ‘unconscious protest’ of the idea that race-details mattered.
Being a stupid teenager, however, it didn’t occur to me that i would end up being the Smartest Eskimo In America™ for a hot minute, and attract undeserved attention.
“Though, my name might have caused a few scratched heads over in admissions.”
De-Juan Moishe Jefferson?
Tonto Goldberg.
Pretty much.
Some of us got unsolicited university offers because of perfect scores on college entrance exams. 😉
There’s true huwhite privilege for you …
Double X-ers don’t count.
My son has considered applying to Howard for shits and giggles just to see how privileged he is.
That’s how he rolls.
Why not? It’s an excellent school.
And if he has a thing for Black women…, well, so much the better.
He’d be a very strange animal there.
He’s a Vineyard Vines, Argyll sweater wearing, preppy WASP. No idea what his preferences in women are, but at 16-17, I’m sure anything that has a bare whiff of the right scent would work.
He would become the White Wilt Chamberlain. That’s exactly what Black bougie women want.
6ft 4 or 5, 160lb volleyball player.
Downside for all the totty at Howard is that he’s a worse shitlord than me.
I’m picturing this
The little league my son plays for has a big indoor practice facility they use for the year-round travel teams. Around the field are banners with pictures of kids who played for their team who are now playing in college. One of them is a white kid who pitches for Norfolk State. Didn’t see that one coming.
Dude, you could have been Pocohantus before Pocohantus. You might be a Congress critter by now, what is wrong with you?
I did the same thing, but “Asian.” Because Israel is in Asia.
*My* dad laughed when all these colleges came after me (this was before “Asian” was an actual disqualifier worse than “white”).
My mother-in-law got a temp permit and loaned it out. She treated that thing like the Golden Ticket. I love her, but she’s a born sheister.
I finally get an Ultrasound for my Chest next Tuesday, maybe someone can tell what the Hell is going on before I drop dead.
And #6 Is Fucking with me/us
Good!
Thanks! I took Belly for a Walk, now I’m Back to haunt you all!!
1. I’ve known several people with invisible disabilities such as heart conditions. To a person, they’ve all said if they feel unwell enough to need to use their placard, they just don’t go anywhere if they can avoid it. The combination of feeling terrible and getting hassled for not looking disabled isn’t worth it.
2. A financial advisor recently told me a story of a man who has a placard without actually needing it and uses it specifically to park close to the gym.
He has been denied long term care insurance from every company to which he has applied, apparently for no other reason than being in that database.
3. Thank you, Tonio, for a great article!
He has been denied long term care insurance from every company to which he has applied, apparently for no other reason than being in that database.
Lol. Justice sometimes happens in weird places.
Sweet, sweet karma.
Fuck Daily Caller and their “You whitelist or no gruel!” No gruel then, until websites stop using ad networks that turn my computer into a whimpering, suffering pile of neurosis.
Hear, hear.
Disabled parking spots are literally violence and should be outlawed.
THEY ARE HATE SPEECH
I also Park out away from the stores, I don’t seek out the ‘Best” spot, just Fucking Walk
Same here. I always park on the far side of the parking lot at the grocery store. It’s not a huge parking lot, but still…
And it reduces the likelihood of a wind-driven shopping cart t-boning my car at 30 mph.
Mr. Riven and I also use this strategy. It occurs to me that we may have parked in the vicinity of each other before, provided we frequent the same places.
The best spots should go to the healthiest people.
Finally, someone talking sense.
Okay, I’m going to leave this one final “Thank You” here for all the folks I didn’t thank personally.
What about the pregnant spots? I’m assuming that making preggos waddle their fat asses a little further than they want to is totes libertarian.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maiesiophilia
Many years ago when those first started showing up, I was driving the SUV with the family in it and one of those was open. the tag said, “Expectant Mother”. My mom says, “Park there. I expect good things from you boys, so I count.” Mom was technically correct, and we all know that’s the best kind of correct.
I’ve never been pregnant, but my wife has, and just being in the proximity made me want to drink more. So I say have at ’em, pregnant ladies.
The “family” spots, too. Put ’em a mile away, I don’t care, just let me signal to other potential parkers that I’m solving the Hellraiser cube that is my kid’s stroller and then loading it like we’re climbing Everest, so it’s going to take awhile and I might need some extra space.
How long before the state dictates green parking spots with charging stations? After they get done, there will be another very small parking spot on the other side of the street labeled ‘Non-handicapped White Males park here’ and in the big parking lot, other spots will be in order by specialist special privilege.
Those charging station spaces are almost always empty, and they’re closer to the doors than the handicap spots.
I’ve several times fantasized about cutting the cords on those chargers, just to see the look on their faces when they pick up their new “wireless” charging connector.
I want to park Blue Kia in those Green spots sometimes, I get great mileage
I have never seen a ‘green’ spot aside from the charging station spots are there any that are not for powering up electric cars?
There are a few in our community. At stores around here though, I’ve never actually seen one, I was being sarcastic, but I’m not surprised to learn it’s already started.
the Mega Walmart has about 10, mostly empty charging spots painted green
I stayed at a hotel by the Mall of America last week and there were three (empty) Tesla recharging spots as close to the door as they could be (other than handicap spots).
Some Whole Foods stores have charging stations adjacent to the exits.
My university has a parking lot with two special parking spots for “hybrid or electric” vehicles. I have a hybrid Camry (be kind now…) and used them for a while, since it was closer to my building, but then they said you had to work in the particular department they were next to, not just a university employee. So now I’m back to parking in the hinterlands (which is fine, I get more exercise that way).
Good article. Here in California a disabled placard gets you free metered parking which I think is a total joke. It is just begging people to abuse it. And unsurprisingly there are absolutely tons of those placards. SF is taking the brave progressive idiocy to new heights by drastically reducing street parking in general. Just yesterday I was fucking livid because a building I often work at in the Tenderloin had all the parking spots in front turned into a damn bike lane. This is in crackhead central too. I watched someone dilute coke with baking powder while working on the door.
What a Shithole!
If they want to reduce parking, take it away from all government workers first.
In case you thought TDS was limited to Democrats…
https://www.mediaite.com/online/gop-congressman-rips-trump-in-insane-tirade-to-journo-evil-really-fcking-stupid-forrest-gump/
It was indeed a very good film. I like how the main difference between King’s novella and the movie was that in the book Andy Dufrense actually did kill his wife. You still root for him.
And yet……congressional Republicans are no better. They’re almost all useless pieces of shit, aside from Rand/Massie/Amash
Our driver has the placard because he occasionally transports his legitimately disabled elderly mother.
A friend of mine does this. I give him shit about it, but he probably still does it when I’m not around.
The thing I hate worst about parkers are people who back into parking spots. And if you happen to need to get around them, you aren’t going anywhere for a while because it will take them at least 7-8 tries of backing in and out very slowly before they get there.
There’s one handicapped parking spot in my community near to me. The old lady who had been parking there ever since I moved here, just disappeared, not sure if she passed away or just moved away. Anyway, she was actually handicapped, in a wheelchair. As soon as she went missing for about a week, another person swooped in and took over the spot. My wife asked me ‘honey, why is she parking there, she’s not handicapped?’. Yeah, I know, I know.
*EDIT FAIRY ASSIST*
I meant to say ‘One handicapped parking space’. *edit fairy*?
I am also annoyed by back-in parkers. There was an article a couple of years ago explaining that backing in is the way to go, because it’s safer when you depart. I don’t have a problem because I actually look behind me before I back out to depart.
I remember 30 years ago in Germany there were places which wouldn’t let you back in, because the exhaust from the cars would dirty the building. Seriously.
So did she die?
Very complex feelings about the subject.
First, I’m a very proud person, and I’d rather die than admit some kind of weakness. When I blew my knee out about 12 years ago I continued to walk the mile or so back and forth to the grocery store, I just did it on crutches. A lady got the door for me and I nearly died of shame. So even if I had a reason to use one I’d hate to have to, never mind using one without a need.
Second, with my luck I’d pull up next to an actually handicapped person and have to look them in the eye as I hopped nimbly out of my car. Again, death via shame.
Third, I’m not a snitch, and I don’t want to get authorities involved. If someone cheats because they’re a weak little bitch and they can live with the shame of never reaching Valhalla, then that’s their business, not the government’s. If the owner of the parking lot has a problem, he/she/they should figure it out themselves. I also firmly believe in minding one’s own business. After all, maybe someone doesn’t have the placard but does have a bad knee. Maybe they forgot the placard. Maybe it’s in the mail.
Finally, I never see all the handicapped spaces being used. That’s not to say people should use them if they don’t need them, but I don’t think there’s a scarcity issue here.
I had a friend, good grief, I don’t know why, I must have been desperate for friends. But the guy was a gigantic asshole. He suddenly developed all of these ailments, not sure how many or if any of them were real. But whatever, he managed to get on disability and got himself a handicapped sign to put in his car. Man, that sign turned him from mere gigantic asshole to megazoid fucking asshole. After that, I never heard the guy shut up for long about all his ailments and newfound privilege. Let me just say, for all his ailments, he got around really well, didn’t seem to exhibit any of this disabled stuff, except his constant ‘I’m disabled man! I got diabetes, my heart is bad… I could have a heart attack any minute! I can’t help you with that! I’m disabled, my back is bad! I could die any minute!’. Our friendship didn’t really go on after that.
I have a now Homeless BIL that did exactly that, what an Asshole…
I remember now what it was that finally ended our friendship. I was sort of struggling back in those days, just to make ends meet. So I drove this Ford F-150 pickup with like 250k miles on it. One day I couldn’t get it started and called that guy to ask him to give me a jump. ‘I don’t have any cables!’. So I said ‘No problem, I have cables’. The guy lived a mile from me at best. ‘You ain’t getting none of my battery! And anyway, I’m disabled! I could…’. So I was like ‘Never mind man, it’s ok’. I think that was the last time we ever talked.
One of the guys in my social circle, after a few years of being a PITA employee, finally scored a disability retirement from his job as a Fed Treasury guard. For anxiety, I believe. Possibly also acid reflux. He then spent his free time riding motorcycles, eating takeout Chinese, and playing paintball. Nobody really talks to him any more. Thing is, he was (is?) a nice guy, but he was just the saddest sack you’d ever meet despite the fact that he was an only child who grew up with plenty and had scads of money. Just the idea of having to get up off his fat ass and work filled him with an existential dread. He was happier to just nest on a couch under some blankets, drink gin, eat General Tso’s, and generally be worthless.
Sounds like a reason to take up a bunch of active hobbies.
“Sorry, pal, can’t hang out, I’m headed skiing! Then hiking and kayaking and mountain biking! You’re welcome to come along though. No? Too bad, dude.”
I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and state that if an optometrist declares you disabled, you probably shouldn’t be driving a car in the first place.
(And yes, I presume this provision is intended to benefit those who rely on someone else to drive them around. I just couldn’t resist.)
Dunno about California, but I can totes believe it in parts of Florida.
There was guy, a very long time ago, that was functionally blind — he had some peripheral vision, but was legally blind. He had a seeing eye dog that he had trained to bark one way for red lights and another way for green lights. This was long before ADA drove the installation of talking crosswalk systems.
One night, he got thoroughly drunk and decided he needed to be somewhere. So he got in car and took off. He had enough peripheral vision to keep the car in his lane, and he would stop when the dog barked for a red light.
At his hearing for drunk driving, his defense was the dog was driving, because he was legally blind . . . . duh!.
Did he win?
Yes. Don’t leave us in suspense. Did he win?
no
That’s a bummer.
This is way back in the day when it was a funny human-interest story instead of a police report involving a dead dog or worse.
Oh, I know this one. You let the air out of their tires while they’re in the store.
personal pet peeve:
A HANDICAP PLACARD IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO DRIVE LIKE A RETARD.
Thank you.
You’re supposed to remove them from the Mirror when driving, OTOH it warns me that the driver is an idiot, and to avoid them.
No fuckin’ lie. The people with permanent handicap plates (not just the placards) are almost universally the worst fucking drivers on Earth.
The Jewish women in my neighborhood… I beg to differ.
I’d call it a tie between them and the chrome fishies.
Nothing worse than a prius with a handicap placard, Apple window sticker and a Coexist & Bernie 2016 bumper sticker.
That almost deserves having this coexist sticker plastered over the crappy one.
http://goadville.bigcartel.com/product/coexist-sticker
I actually saw a Prius on the interstate last week with a bumper sticker that said “Come get it” under a silhouette of an AR-15.
My pet peeve is people who ignore the no parking area lines (especially Walmart). I don’t know the reason you shouldn’t park there, but they want it that way. Joe Dickhead in his lifted F350 with a handicap sticker just pulls into the non-spot (because it has blue lines) and heads on into the store. Assholes.
I believe those are there so that something like a fire truck can park there while they hose off the building.
co-founder of Maine Beer Company left and opened a new brewery in Charlottesville called… Reason Beer.
https://brightestyoungthings.com/articles/reason-beer
TOS Beer?
CJ says no.
https://reason.com/archives/2018/03/01/reason-beer
Libertarian beer moment.
I find it unbeerable.
Drink!
Too local.